In the darkness [Ps. 18]
weave:, formed

From uncertain
futures
Amplified drives
for present Pleasure

In their darkness,
We are formed

Without Strength,
Protecting someone
else is impossible
( more rabble,rabble continues.... )

Let the demons all come out;
Let My People give a shout:
"We won't give up the quest,
out Prosperity shall [be made] manifest!"
( Read more... )
Transcribed from a druggle dated Mo. 28 Feb. 2011

don't you touch my body
keep your hands out of my face
First, you say you fear me
then you wanna be near me
Just get your arse off of my case

Racist, classist, ignorant piece of shit
bully, perverted "War on Terror"-ist
go and make *your* pants drop
U TSA rent-a-cop.
I don't want your Cheney's to hold me
Rumsfeld, Chertoff, and Pistole
You'd kill all freedom in your sights
Where I want my Amendment Rights
I am no danger to you,
but you knew that anyway,
Since you hate American freedom
then just go somewhere else to play

The fool says there is no God,
The nerds say obviously there is not God,
but they work for money bills
to pay their utility bills...

...suffer at jobs all day
and take sleeping pills at night,
take a wager with death
to earn a mortgage,

notice the banks (of bills)
produce nothing,
yet own everything,
and we the people bail them out

...with our money bills (taxes).

We say it is folly to tithe,
to give 10% of the corrupt priests,
so we give 60% to the politicians
who then make us walk barefoot

paid by our bills,
we nonetheless support this system
and keep stressing our minds
to get our passes for their gates:

gates to "better" jobs,
which we need to earn bills,
gates to "better" communities
where our children grow up bored,

taught by our society
to work for more bills.

There is no more God
we're too smart for that
We must pay our bills
We must sever our new "god".

T'is early, early Christmas Day,
But no drinkin' with Mertle Faye.
I hide behind our festooned tree,
That ole fat man, I hope to see.

I hear a thump out on the roof,
Then the ping of a dainty hoof,
And before I can count to three,
Ole Saint Nick stands beside the tree.

Stepping out with moves smooth as silk,
I offer him cookies and milk.
Nick takes the plate and sets it down,
Then he whispers through a sad frown,

"I'm so sorry son, didn't you know?
These tasty treats I must forgo,
It's 'cause I'm lactose intolerant.
Diabetes, too. That's rampant.

But I'll sit here to have a snack
And rest my poor old aching back.
Christmas is hard on the ole coot
That's stuffed in this funny red suit.

So check your frig, see what you got,
It won't take much--I'll tell you what!
This feller would shout with delight
For a crisp dill and a Coors Light."

The worlds not as beautiful as it used to be
and fuck this country, this isn’t free
Sick of being told who to be
by these pig ass fucking thieving police
America, you think you slick?
America can suck a big fat dick
Politics gotta cheat there way to the top
and this shits never gonna stop
when we fearin our government more than our killers
and the sirens hunt a young girls dreams
while her guts fucking burst from the seams
You finally fail, chest impale, your boys in jail
baby ill be waiting for you when you get out
with a truck of cold corpses, babe no fucking doubt

Science covers everything,

From star domes, to chromosomes, to how your family builds their homes

And with all the propaganda ya hear, about the decaying atmosphere

Its redundant to go and turn a blind eye, when we can slip the blindfold and just defy

Is it so important to cling to a lie, while youre watching your planet die

You know you gotta stay thinking green, keep your mother planet clean

Kids actin too cool to care, throwin cigarette butts everywhere

While we consumed by tax deductions, japans got volcanoes erupting

Yeah, you wanna breath? You gonna need those trees

Cause right now, we all a disease

Nature is beautiful and science is too

The times come to stand up, and do what we need to do

Hey to all of you out there. Some of you have kind of gotten to know me for quite some time, reading whatever I happen to throw at this journal. If you're new, you could have picked a better moment to intervene but that is okay. Stick around until you get bored.

I don't know how many of you know this or have caught on but I have a chronic case of MDD, or Major Depressive Disorder. Sometimes it is nearly nonexistent and others incredibily severe. Sometimes I forget I have it. Other times I feel like my mind is diseased and some type of negativity has hijacked my entire body, soul, brain, everything. It's like I can't escape and my every hope is held hostage to this angry, irritable, terrifying I don't know if it is a person, side of my self, glitch, or a kind of a virus that just gets control when my system is vulnerable.

But it shows me terrifying things.  Things I could do to myself. Images of death, gore, dying, decay, any image that you would be shocked at on a film screen suddenly becomes native to my own mind. I can't get out. It takes away my every word and speaks terrible, terrible things for me. It pushes people away and I just break down.

Normally I am incredibly motivated. It cuts me off at the knees. The only thought that is my own, the only part of me that is left during this captive struggle is Jesus just let me die, let me die. I want to fucking die already. There is no hope in life. Everything is gray at best, black at worst.

Everything about me is to fault. I'm suspicious of others and know they will let me down or put me down or show me something incredibly faulty about myself. Everybody has a gun and I am a target and a villain, all at the same time. I can't get close to anybody, anything. I can't speak, can't think. I can just stare at the computer screen.

I feel like I am losing my ever-loving mind and any moments of sanity or rationale are fleeting. I try to call to myself, try to get rid of the shadow eclipsing my soul and emerge from the black waters filling my lungs and the pressure and gravity destroying every attempt at saving myself. I just get heavier and heavier and I know there is a black hole at the bottom of that ocean and I always make it above water and to shore. But every time I get closer to sinking into that hole and I know one day it is going to happen. One day it's going to swallow me and that will be the point beyond no return. I'll drown and the only thing that will be left of me will be a body and a shadow of myself. And even now I feel that shadow just behind me, beginning to wash over my heels. And I'm terrified of it and frantically trying to escape it and so tired that I'm surrendering to it, all at the same time.

And to me that is death. Death isn't the death of your body. That's just a machine shutting down. That's just a body that has stopped working. But when the soul gives in, when it sinks and drowns, that's a terrible death, a death I feel more and more every day of my fucking life. I don't even know who I am anymore. I don't even know that girl that was smiling yesterday, who was successful, who was everything I'm not. She had people fooled. I'm just a shadow.

Trite twist of the mind
come forth wist into the eyes
of those who might witness
they're divulging bliss.

Not to mingle with thoughts
of taint from the ghost of
a jealous saint Ideas amiss,
oh but to find eternal bliss.

But to whom may it be found
is it in the tea of the modest monk
or the prayers of an incestuous
cult.

Oh for what shall One do in this
position perhaps cast off this
mortal coil in shame of our pride
so as no longer to hide in
this impertinent pestilence we call life.

No I dare say to use what we know
to flow with the tides
or on the wings of the flies

Abide in our truths that we
know in ourselves not in another
will we find anything but guidance amiss and aloof.

When smoking the last cigarette in a pack, I always think
What if this was my last cigarette?
Like the last drags taken by a captive, about to be executed by a firing squad
But without forewarning
Because the arrow of time is my firing squad.
Like a cigarette, one day we will all be ashes
Like the stars
Like white dwarves
Snow-white ashes falling like flakes of ice
From the fiery tip of a cigarette called life.
From dust you came, to dust you shall return.
The universe smokes us all like cigarettes.